i want to die alone.
i dont want to feel the pain of loving someone, i dont want to have to lose to gain.
its a constant battle in my own head as it is, and in the end, i just wanted to be loved.
i wanted a simple life of ramen noodles and standard cable;
the idea of a white picket fence and apple pie was long gone.
i just wanted someone to come home to and feel the warmth surround me.
i wanted to be wanted by someone i wanted to want.
i love the way you look at me,
like you havent seen me in years, and your just dying to hold me.
i wish that feeling was real.
your eyes and cold like a porcelin doll's.
i used to stare at my dolls when i was younger and shake them violently and say "why wont you love me?"
i think this was a completly different deep seeded pyschological problem, but thats what i feel like when i look at you.
i want to rip out your yarn hair,
scratch out your glass pupils
split your rock head open,
and scream.
and other times,
I just want to stare at you.
I want to imagine you as the little lamb of a boy that I met.
I want to embrace you and whisper in your ear,
run my hand through your hair, cradling your head,
and passionatly kiss you,
knowing
no one
has ever love you this much.
i want you to go away, i want you to leave me alone.
i dont want anyone, none of them truly want ME.
you're not going to be mine,
you're not going to be mine,
you're not going to be mine.
i want to close my eyes and sleep for days until i forget about this bad dream,
yet remember never to sleep again.
