do not under any circumstances, read this.
to be honest with you...
ha.
the air raid sirens are going off in my head again, then theres that little buzzing noise, and it gets perfectly quiet and still. frozen in time is this little peacefulness, the shadows dont twinkle anymore, and i anticipate the squealing of another death. then it snaps back to the sick reality. sitting still in the darkness, letting the chaos dance around me, it seems so surreal. for one minute could someone step into my world? or at least take a moment to diagnose me and give me a stronger dose to make the voices go away? it sickening how it wont stop or pause, even to explain momentarily what is going on around me. "its cryptic and encoded with nothing but fear, if the beauty was so real, then why am i here?" but that part died too. all contributions of friends. my appreciation is awarded to you.
i want to rise up and make it stop, but it still wont. like dreaming and screaming, but no one can hear. just wake up, please wake up. who's to say if this is real or not? perhaps i'm the one laying in a hospital bed with no clue to what is around me, hopeless and helpless. i didnt mean it, i promise, trust me. its just that once the feathers come out of the pillow, they'll never go back in with out some ripping and shredding. i loved all of you so much, so why did you hurt me? all i ever wanted was for you to smile. perhaps it will take my demise.
ha.
the air raid sirens are going off in my head again, then theres that little buzzing noise, and it gets perfectly quiet and still. frozen in time is this little peacefulness, the shadows dont twinkle anymore, and i anticipate the squealing of another death. then it snaps back to the sick reality. sitting still in the darkness, letting the chaos dance around me, it seems so surreal. for one minute could someone step into my world? or at least take a moment to diagnose me and give me a stronger dose to make the voices go away? it sickening how it wont stop or pause, even to explain momentarily what is going on around me. "its cryptic and encoded with nothing but fear, if the beauty was so real, then why am i here?" but that part died too. all contributions of friends. my appreciation is awarded to you.
i want to rise up and make it stop, but it still wont. like dreaming and screaming, but no one can hear. just wake up, please wake up. who's to say if this is real or not? perhaps i'm the one laying in a hospital bed with no clue to what is around me, hopeless and helpless. i didnt mean it, i promise, trust me. its just that once the feathers come out of the pillow, they'll never go back in with out some ripping and shredding. i loved all of you so much, so why did you hurt me? all i ever wanted was for you to smile. perhaps it will take my demise.
