letter to a fiend.
There's just some things I can't change. No matter what I say or do, your scars are there in the shape of my hand. You're gonna have to except this eventually, even when you refuse to look in the mirror, much less at me. I know it's hard to understand that I'm that little blonde pixie that swallowed your soul and devoured you with a grin and giggle, yet I still care about you, but I do. And I know that I can make you happy, and I can't get you to hear one of my words, but I know this is not where you belong. You're fucking yourself, and repeating the same mistakes in a more attractive manner. It's human nature to try and recreate favorable parts of the past, but sometimes you just have to face your past. Look, I don't know why I try. I'll never forgive myself for it, I'm sure the memory of me is digging and tearing and infecting the papercut I created. And what good does it do me? At one point, you swore you had changed and everything was clear. I held on to the scent, image, and feel of you for so long, driving the nail deeper and deeper into my brain. Who did all of this benefit? We were once innocent kids, with unreal promises and dreams. Or at least I was. You were brillant and fast paced with adventure in your veins, running and running and chasing something that you've never even seen. You baffled me and I fell for your charm. But now you've become a monster, with ice cold skin and a face of stone. Did I do this? I just wanted to love you, not change you. I never understood you until it was too late, or my feelings. I remember the last thing you told me was that I was just too insane. You didn't say it to be mean, but with a tone full of concern. Maybe I just confused rage and passion for love. I often wonder if any of it was real, or just how I'd prefer to remember it. So I have to tell you, for your sake and mine, if you have any care left for me, don't ever let me know. Run. I'm just too fucked up and sadistic for you. But don't forget that fate never boards up a door without smashing through a window. And Theres no such thing as a last chance. Well, ha ha ha.
